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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Mines

Every book is a quotation;
and every house is a quotation out of all forests,
and mines, and stone quarries;
and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton

I am merely a bit player in your stories,
as you are merely a bit player in mine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Goes the song, "we change, we change."
But the music is still mine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed
in any subject as I am in mine.
- Charles Darwin

Only free men can negotiate;
prisoners cannot enter into contracts.
Your freedom and mine cannot be separated.
- Nelson Mandela

Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine,
a possession for all time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All the energy of the universe is mine
to use as spirit directs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This desk of mine is one at which a man may die,
but from which he cannot resign.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics.
I can assure you mine are still greater.
- Albert Einstein

If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
- John Lennon

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
- Anonymous

If people are good only because they
fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- Albert Einstein

Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein

I must dedicate my life to teaching my people,
for only education would make their lot less bitter,
their latent power more strong.
- Jimmy Yen

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie

Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick,
at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
- The Buddha

At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected?
I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us.
It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot,
we must ourselves be its author and finisher.
As a nation of freemen, we must live
through all time, or die by suicide.
- Abraham Lincoln

Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller

People should be angry about a lot of things
and the peace-and-love thing
doesn't sit comfortably with me at all.
- Bono

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
- Lao Tzu

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

In all chaos there is a cosmos,
in all disorder a secret order.
- Carl Jung

The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes

If in the least particular, one could
derange the order of nature,
who would accept the gift of life?
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no logical way to the discovery
of these elemental laws.
There is only the way of intuition,
which is helped by a feeling
for the order lying behind the appearance.
- Albert Einstein

Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction
because of the variety of factors in operation,
not because of any lack of order in nature.
- Albert Einstein

"Go to the people and live among them
in order to know them and learn from them.
- Jimmy Yen

I think the person who takes a job in order to live -
that is to say, for the money -
has turned himself into a slave.
- Joseph Campbell

As in geology, so in social institutions,
we may discover the causes of all past changes
in the present invariable order of society.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most of us love, to be sure.
Yet far too often our love is passive.
We must be proactive in our love
in order for it to change our lives.
- Marianne Williamson

We must be proactive in our love
in order for it to change our lives.
- Marianne Williamson

It is any day better to stand erect
with a broken and bandaged head
then to crawl on one's belly,
in order to be able to save one's head.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous

Peace and abstinence from European interferences are our objects,
and so will continue while the present
order of things in America remain uninterrupted.
- Thomas Jefferson

Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground.
- Douglas Adams

Do not think that love,
in order to be genuine,
has to be extraordinary.
What we need is to love without getting tired.
- Mother Teresa

There is so much we can never know.
Breathe deeply and relax into the not-knowing.
There is much that we do not have to know
in order to live joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never be fooled into believing that
there is one speck out of order.
- Byron Katie

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung

Most unhappiness comes from resisting life.
Occasionally, you have such a strong commitment
to changing the world order that it is worth
struggling against the flow of life.
But don't live your life as if each minor happening
were a matter of life and death.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes
can be settled by using force,
then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization
and our best hope of establishing a world order.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

One who breaks an unjust law
that conscience tells him is unjust,
and who willingly accepts
the penalty of imprisonment
in order to arouse the conscience
of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

An individual who breaks a law that
conscience tells him is unjust,
and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment
in order to arouse the conscience
of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.
- Albert Schweitzer


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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