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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Bus

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
- Socrates

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who is too busy doing good
finds no time to be good.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Wonder what opportunities you pass, unwittingly,
because your hands are so busy clasping
what you think you have always known.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

Get busy living or get busy dying.
- Stephen King

It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants.
The question is: What are we busy about?
- Henry David Thoreau

To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Success usually comes to those
who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

Each of us is of infinite value,
and each of us has the ability to make
a profound difference in the lives we touch.
We leave our most profoundly positive impact
on those around us by the nature of our lives
and the example we set -
not by how busy we are,
or how important we believe we are.
Setting an example of being loving, relaxed and joyful,
regardless of external circumstances,
is a great legacy for our family and for the world.
Self importance - ego - is not a path to happiness.
Focusing one's whole life on responsibilities,
without taking time for self-renewal and play,
abandons the joy and the true value of life.
I want my tombstone to read, "Inspired others,"
rather than, "Never missed a day at the office."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.
- Rumi

If you want to feel rich,
just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
- Anonymous

Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.
- Henry David Thoreau

We need less posturing and more genuine charisma.
Charisma was originally a religious term,
meaning "of the spirit" or "inspired."
It's about letting God's light shine through us.
It's about a sparkle in people that money can't buy.
It's an invisible energy with visible effects.
To let go, to just love, is not to fade into the wallpaper.
Quite the contrary, it's when we truly become bright.
We're letting our own light shine.
- Marianne Williamson

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
- William J. Clinton

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams

Do what you love.
Know your own bone;
gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it,
and gnaw it still.
- Henry David Thoreau

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
- Khalil Gibran

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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