What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec 
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Anger spells dANGER.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill
Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
It ain't over till it's over.
- Yogi Berra
Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Watch out, I have a Magic Wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill
Take care of the sense
and the sounds will take care of themselves.
- Lewis Carroll
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
- John Lennon
Talk doesn't cook rice.
- Chinese Proverb
I am firm; YOU are obstinate; HE is a pig-headed fool.
- Bertrand Russell
I have tried lately to read Shakespeare,
and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
- Charles Darwin
In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.