Funny Quotes about Surprised

All that this world needs is a good cleansing of the heart
of all the inhibitions of the past.
And laughter and tears can do both.
Tears will take out all the agony that is hidden inside you
and laughter will take all that is preventing your ecstasy.
Once you have learned the art you will be immensely surprised.
- Osho

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never tell people how to do things.
Tell them what to do and they will
surprise you with their ingenuity.
- George S. Patton

The True Surprise is that
So Many of Us have Evolved So Rapidly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The beauty of facing life unprepared is tremendous.
Then life has a newness, a youth;
then life has a flow and freshness.
Then life has so many surprises.
And when life has so many surprises,
boredom never settles in you.
- Osho

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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