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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Suits

The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung

Any people anywhere, being inclined and having the power,
have the right to rise up, and shake off the existing government,
and form a new one that suits them better.
This is a most valuable - a most sacred right -
a right, which we hope and believe, is to liberate the world.
- Abraham Lincoln

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

Every people have gods to suit their circumstances.
- Henry David Thoreau

What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill

Not every difficult and dangerous thing
is suitable for training,
but only that which is conducive to success
in achieving the object of our effort.
- Epictetus

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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