Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For every minute you remain angry,
you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
- Anonymous
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton
This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
It is the first law of friendship
that it has to be cultivated.
The second is to be indulgent
when the first law is neglected.
- Voltaire
Shrinking away from death
is something unhealthy and abnormal -
which robs the second half of life of its purpose.
- Carl Jung
The second office in the government is honorable and easy;
the first is but a splendid misery.
- Thomas Jefferson
How you respond to the challenge in the second half
will determine what you become after the game,
whether you are a winner or a loser.
- Lou Holtz
Once you say you're going to settle for second,
that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy
The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter F. Drucker
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied:
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it:
'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
- Matthew 22:36-40
Looking at a sunset, just for a second
you forget your separateness:
you are the sunset.
That is the moment when you feel the beauty of it.
But the moment you say that it is a beautiful sunset,
you are no longer feeling it;
you have come back to your separate,
enclosed entity of the ego.
Now the mind is speaking.
- Osho
I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung
Meddling:
Everything that happens in the world, or doesn't happen,
is NOT my responsibility.
There are more than enough things that are my responsibility.
I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions -
and that is enough.
It does not serve me to mind anyone else's business.
I can only make myself unhappy by trying to second guess
what anyone else thinks or does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.