Funny Quotes about Scriptures

Remain in wonder if you want the mysteries to open up for you.
Mysteries never open up for those who go on questioning.
Questioners sooner or later end up in a library.
Questioners sooner or later end up with scriptures,
because scriptures are full of answers.
And answers are dangerous, they kill your wonder.
- Osho

You have to be an original individual;
you have to find your innermost core on your own,
with no guide, no guiding scriptures.
It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry
you are bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with intense inquiry
has found the sunrise.
Others only believe.
Those who believe are not religious,
they are simply avoiding the great adventure
of religion by believing.
- Osho

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time.
Hatred ceases through love.
This is an unalterable law.
- The Buddha

I do not concern myself with gods and spirits
either good or evil, nor do I serve any.
- Lao Tzu

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

Clarke's Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke

Begin to act from your dominion.
Declare the truth by telling yourself
that there is nothing to be afraid of,
that you no longer entertain any images of fear.
- Ernest Holmes

I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter

Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

God's Spirit moves through us and the world
at a pace that can never be constricted
by any one religious paradigm.
I love that.
- Bono

You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer

I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
- Albert Einstein

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau

The dream you are living is your creation.
It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time.
- don Miguel Ruiz

If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Important ideas can come from unexpected places.
We tend to label people - Genius, Idiot,
Socialist, Regressive, Wingnut, Revolutionary, Terrorist.
But it is helpful to remind ourselves to be open
to good ideas - whatever their source.
It is equally important to avoid accepting any idea
merely because we respect that person's
other ideas or accomplishments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life,
he will lose his reverence for all of life.
- Albert Schweitzer

Any statement that is self-serving
is likely to contain untruths.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your example is far more influential and inspiring
than any words of instruction, or threats,
or even words of encouragement.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance
or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.
- Thomas Jefferson

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead

I like the silent church before the service begins,
better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be Prepared."
"Be prepared for what?"
"Why, for any old thing."
- Robert Baden-Powell,
the founder of Scouting.
[as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook]

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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