Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Salute

I offer you peace.
I offer you love.
I offer you friendship.
I see your beauty.
I hear your need.
I feel your feelings.
My wisdom flows from the Highest Source.
I salute that Source in you.
Let us work together for unity and love.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Our forces saved the remnants of the Jewish people of Europe
for a new life and a new hope in the reborn land of Israel.
Along with all men of good will,
I salute the young state and wish it well.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller

Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz

People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever
to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.
- Oscar Wilde

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright

The grand aim of all science is to cover
the greatest number of empirical facts
by logical deduction from
the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
- Albert Einstein


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.