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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Roller

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Roll with the punches.
- Anonymous

Let's Roll.
- Todd Beamer

Open the gates and roll out the red carpet,
for I am entering the kingdom of peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you tried to give rock and roll another name,
you might call it "Chuck Berry."
- John Lennon

Rock 'n' roll is ridiculous. It's absurd.
In the past, U2 was trying to duck that.
Now we're wrapping our arms around it and giving it a great big kiss.
- Bono

There are two kinds of stones,
as everyone knows,
one of which rolls.
- Amelia Earhart

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse,
and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled
in the dirt once or twice.
Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill,
will return upon him with a greater violence,
and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.
- Albert Schweitzer

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say,
but what we are unable to say.
- Anais Nin

My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role,
is to try and express what we all feel.
Not to tell people how to feel.
Not as a preacher, not as a leader,
but as a reflection of us all.
- John Lennon

In the long history of the world,
only a few generations have been granted the role
of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger.
I do not shrink from this responsibility - I welcome it.
- John F. Kennedy

Communists have always played an active role
in the fight by colonial countries for their freedom,
because the short-term objects of Communism
would always correspond with
the long-term objects of freedom movements.
- Nelson Mandela

Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating.
Youngsters need good models more than they need critics.
It's one of a parent's greatest responsibilities and opportunities.
- John Wooden

I give thanks for everything that has occurred
to bring me to this moment in time.
Every event that has ever occurred in my life
has played a crucial role in delivering me to this instant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have gratitude for EVERYTHING that has ever occurred
to bring me to this moment.
I accept that no one else is ever to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrences of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played
any role in any of the events of my life
is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion -
I forgive everyone, especially myself,
for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life.
I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life,
and I am committed to consistently distinguishing
between my feelings about events
and the physical occurrence of those events.
I declare that everyone who has ever played any role
in any of the events of my life is entirely without fault.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.