Funny Quotes about Offices

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
- Thomas Jefferson

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The second office in the government is honorable and easy;
the first is but a splendid misery.
- Thomas Jefferson

leading by example creates a degree of
loyalty and overall success
that cannot be achieved through
issuing orders from a lofty office.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.
Without it, no real success is possible,
no matter whether it is on a section gang,
a football field, in an army, or in an office.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Each of us is of infinite value,
and each of us has the ability to make
a profound difference in the lives we touch.
We leave our most profoundly positive impact
on those around us by the nature of our lives
and the example we set -
not by how busy we are,
or how important we believe we are.
Setting an example of being loving, relaxed and joyful,
regardless of external circumstances,
is a great legacy for our family and for the world.
Self importance - ego - is not a path to happiness.
Focusing one's whole life on responsibilities,
without taking time for self-renewal and play,
abandons the joy and the true value of life.
I want my tombstone to read, "Inspired others,"
rather than, "Never missed a day at the office."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

The Creator has not thought proper
to mark those in the forehead
who are of stuff to make good generals.
We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold,
and then let them learn the trade
at the expense of great losses.
- Thomas Jefferson

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London

What are the proper grounds for joy?
Is it circumstance which will
determine the stature of my spirit?
Ah, no. It is choice. It is always a choice -
in the face of any event - for joy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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