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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Liking

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

To let go means to give up coercing, resisting, or struggling,
in exchange for something more powerful and wholesome
which comes out of allowing things to be as they are
without getting caught up in your attraction to or rejection of them,
in the intrinsic stickiness of wanting, of liking and disliking.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous

It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.