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Funny Quotes about Lawyers

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

If the present Congress errs in too much talking,
how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people
send one hundred and fifty lawyers,
whose trade it is to question everything,
yield nothing, and talk by the hour?
- Thomas Jefferson

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

Keep the company of those who seek the truth;
run from those who have found it.
- V�clav Havel

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy

Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

If you shut the door to all errors,
truth will be shut out.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill

Beyond a doubt, truth bears the same relation
to falsehood as light to darkness.
- Leonardo da Vinci

'Tis strange - but true;
for truth is always strange;
Stranger than fiction.
- Lord Byron

Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Dispassionate objectivity is itself a passion,
for the real and for the truth.
- Abraham Maslow

Truth is by nature self-evident.
As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance
that surround it, it shines clear.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us.
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore

There is no truth, only human opinion.
- Anonymous

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There's a world of difference between truth and facts.
Facts can obscure truth.
- Maya Angelou

All the religions of the world,
while they may differ in other respects,
unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein

Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

The pursuit of truth does not permit violence on one's opponent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

It is error alone which needs the support of government.
Truth can stand by itself.
- Thomas Jefferson

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Doubt is the vestibule which we all must pass through
before we can enter the temple of truth.
- Osho

Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds
her own face in a perfect mirror.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Truth is always in harmony with herself,
and is not concerned chiefly to reveal the justice
that may consist with wrong-doing.
- Henry David Thoreau

The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett

ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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