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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Humanize

I know why families were created with all their imperfections.
They humanize you.
They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally,
so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.
- Anais Nin

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) PHOTO

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Assumptions are beliefs that don't know they are beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln

People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves.
They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism.
- Osho

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart,
don't know how to laugh either
- Golda Meir

Once you know yourself as a genuine seeker,
and when your own inner chamber is quite enlightened,
then comes the natural unfoldment of pure love and compassion
and a genuine desire to serve others.
- Rod Stryker

Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.
- Emily Dickinson

Know that your life is designed to be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that you sail the seas of life
as the master of your own ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People don't care how much you know
until they know how much they care.
- John C. Maxwell

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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