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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Gun

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton

Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney

True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous

Know that you do not need anyone's permission
to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True learning is not about facts,
but about conscious appreciation
of the experience of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow

I Honor My True Self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A true "moral compass" never points toward discrimination.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are never given a wish without also
being given the power to make it true.
You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard Bach

Feigned courtesy is a mere shadow of true kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo

We censor our actions, but
our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every true love song, by its very nature, is a duet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize
how little we understand about life,
ourselves, and the world around us.
- Socrates

Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu

Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knowledge is happiness, because to have knowledge -
broad, deep knowledge - is to know true ends from false,
and lofty things from low.
- Helen Keller

A true friendship always feels safe and comfortable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be true to thyself.
- William Shakespeare
(paraphrase of Shakespeare's famous quote)

Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins

Mastering others is strength.
Mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu

Intolerance is itself a form of violence
and an obstacle to the growth of a true democratic spirit.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.