Funny Quotes about Figure

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

You have to realize: OK, I don't know how
to solve a political problem,
I don't know how to solve the pollution problem...
all I know is in my own life,
I need to figure out some sense of purpose,
I need to figure out how to be happy...
and I'm willing.
- Jewel

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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