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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Everywhere

Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.
- Albert Einstein

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you are possessed by an idea,
you will find it expressed everywhere,
you even smell it.
- Thomas Mann

Everywhere I look, I see the evidence of a creator.
But I don't see it as religion,
which has cut Irish people in two.
I don't see Jesus Christ as being
in any part of a religion.
Religion to me is almost like when God leaves -
and people devise a set of rules to fill the space.
- Bono

We are all "neighbors."
Our world has gotten too small for us to be anything else.
We can no longer have "us" and "them" - friends and enemies.
A person from Iraq, or Russia, or Columbia is
no more a stranger or enemy than a person from across town.
A few people everywhere are troublemakers.
Every religion provokes a few people to become extremists.
Do we need police around the globe? Unfortunately, we always will.
Do we need war? Does that question even deserve an answer?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa

Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit
which prizes liberty as a heritage of all men,
in all lands, everywhere.
Destroy this spirit and you have planted
the seeds of despotism around your own doors.
- Abraham Lincoln

Where there is reverence there is fear,
but there is not reverence everywhere that there is fear,
because fear presumably has a wider
extension than reverence.
- Socrates

Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

The grand aim of all science is to cover
the greatest number of empirical facts
by logical deduction from
the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
- Albert Einstein

Grace defies reason and logic.
- Bono

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade.
It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Pause to appreciate the beauty around you.
Whether rainbow or butterfly,
mountain or tree, painting or poem -
whether crafted by nature or by a human hand -
beauty adds a magical element to life
that surpasses logic and science.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If what is seen and experienced is portrayed
in the language of logic,
we are engaged in science.
If it is communicated through forms
whose connections are not accessible
to the conscious mind but are
recognized intuitively as meaningful,
then we are engaged in art.
- Albert Einstein

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

We are never afraid of what is happening in this instant -
It is what MIGHT happen next that frightens us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher

Let's have faith that right makes might;
and in that faith let us, to the end,
dare to do our duty as we understand it.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie

It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest
might weaken and the wisest might err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot

When I let go of what I am,
I become what I might be.
- Lao Tzu

Anxiety is love's greatest killer.
It makes one feel as you might
when a drowning man holds unto you.
You want to save him, but you know
he will strangle you with his panic.
- Anais Nin

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

In war as in life, it is often necessary
when some cherished scheme has failed,
to take up the best alternative open,
and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.
- Winston Churchill

No stream rises higher than its source.
Whatever man might build, could never
express or reflect more than he was.
He could record neither more nor less
than he had learned of life.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde

Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Flying might not be all plain sailing,
but the fun of it is worth the price.
- Amelia Earhart

If I were to try to read, much less answer,
all the attacks made on me,
this shop might as well be closed for any other business.
- Abraham Lincoln

In many ways, it is easier to be a good giver than a good receiver.
The giver chooses the gift and the timing.
More important, societal and religious traditions
tend to elevate the status of giver and lower the status of receiver.
When the Bible (Acts 20:32-35) speaks of it being
more blessed to give than to receive,
I believe that a better translation might be
"take" rather than "receive," as the context
of that passage is "coveting."
Certainly there is nothing blessed about coveting,
stealing, begging, or demanding,
however the skill of graciously receiving a freely offered gift
is another matter entirely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you tried to give rock and roll another name,
you might call it "Chuck Berry."
- John Lennon

One cannot have wisdom without perspective,
but once gaining perspective, one attains wisdom.
Wisdom is the ability to view every situation
as each person who is in any way affected
by that situation might view it.
Wisdom benefits from having a knowledge of history,
and therefore a historical perspective,
as well from as having the perspective of imagination -
the realm of the what-might-be
inhabited by futurists and science-fiction writers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I like to talk about a thing I call a "practiced pause."
Just a few moments of pausing allows me
to consider a circumstance and take stock
of what the best direction might be.
Reactions tend to rise from habit and unconsidered action.
A Response is considered and thoughtful.
My actions are my own and I am, singularly,
responsible for what I see, say, feel and exert.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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