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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Earliest

When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Early to bed and early to rise,
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
- Benjamin Franklin

An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
- Henry David Thoreau

Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous

To leave the world a bit better ...
to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy;
if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
the wise grows it under his feet.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

The happiness of one's own heart alone
cannot satisfy the soul;
one must try to include,
as necessary to one's own happiness,
the happiness of others.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction of being loved for yourself,
or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.
- Victor Hugo

Learn to be calm and you will always be happy.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions
such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
- e. e. cummings

For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.

The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy
and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller

A happy life consists not in the absence,
but in the mastery of hardships.
- Helen Keller

People are just as happy
as they make up their minds to be.
- Abraham Lincoln

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

A happy person is not a person in a
certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a
certain set of attitudes.
- Hugh Downs

Your greatest gift to others is to be happy
and to radiate your happiness to the entire world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude.
Each day be happy and grateful for what you have,
independent of yesterday and of other people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world.
Visualize your light radiating throughout the world,
passing from person to person until it encircles the globe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose to feel supremely happy at this very moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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