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Funny Quotes about Cheese

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

He who knows others is clever;
He who knows himself has discernment.
- Lao Tzu

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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