I must admit that I personally measure success
in terms of the contributions
an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.
- Margaret Mead
What you leave behind is not what
is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others.
- Pericles
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A person acting from a motivation
of contribution and service
rises to such a level of moral authority
that worldly success is a natural result.
- Marianne Williamson
The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson
Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins
Whatever you do or don't do in your lifetime,
your best contribution to those around you
and to future generations
will be in the happiness and joy
you generated and radiated to those around you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not in the DOing, it's in the BEing.
Whatever you do or don't do in your lifetime,
your greatest contribution
to current and future generations
will be the happiness and joy
you generated and radiated to those around you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.