Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Christian Sayings

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham

This too, shall pass.
- Bible

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth

Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible

Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

Words which do not give the
light of Christ increase the darkness.
- Mother Teresa

A man who was completely innocent,
offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others,
including his enemies,
and became the ransom of the world.
It was a perfect act.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children
to the third and fourth generations.
- Exodus 20:5

Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love,
of kindness, of understanding, of peace.
Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God -
the rest will be given.
- Mother Teresa

Day by day we should weigh what we have
granted to the spirit of the world
against what we have denied to the spirit of Jesus,
in thought and especially in deed.
- Albert Schweitzer

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa

Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
- Psalm 16:1

Even in the Christian religion,
much of its real meaning is hidden by words
that are misleading and symbols that but few understand.
- Ernest Holmes

A man's pride shall bring him low,
but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.
- Proverbs 29:23

God sometimes does try to the uttermost
those whom he wishes to bless.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Bold Light of Spirit:
Out of the darkness and into the light,
Open our eyes and behold such a sight.
Brilliance of day takes the place of the night,
Boldness and courage are swords of His Might.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It cannot be wisdom to assert the truth of one faith over another.
In our troubled world so full of contradictions,
the wise person makes justice his guide and learns from all.
- Akbar the Great (1542-1605)

For with God all things are possible.
- The Bible

This is what the Lord asks of you: only this,
to act justly, to love tenderly,
and to walk humbly with your God.
- Micah 6:8

Prayer is simply a two-way conversation between you and God.
- Billy Graham

Ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full.
- John 16:24

I do not pray for success,
I ask for faithfulness.
- Mother Teresa

God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say.
Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful:
he makes saints out of sinners.
- Soren Kierkegaard

My concern is not whether God is on our side;
my greatest concern is to be on God's side,
for God is always right.
- Abraham Lincoln

One who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.
- Mother Teresa

Many people mistake our work for our vocation.
Our vocation is the love of Jesus.
- Mother Teresa

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
- St. Francis of Assisi

As you sow, so shall you reap.
- Galatians 6:7

What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14

Our prayers should be for blessings in general,
for God knows best what is good for us.
- Socrates


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.