Funny Quotes about Annoyance

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

Never Let Anyone Get Your Goat,
Push Your Buttons,
Get You Riled Up,
or Annoy You.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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