In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra
It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra
It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
It ain't over till it's over.
- Yogi Berra
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
- Yogi Berra
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
- Yogi Berra
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
There could be no fairer destiny for any physical theory
than that it should point the way to a more comprehensive theory
in which it lives on as a limiting case.
- Albert Einstein
I have just got a new theory of eternity.
- Albert Einstein
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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