Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard
The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard
A little more persistence,
a little more effort, and
what seemed hopeless failure
may turn to glorious success.
- Elbert Hubbard
Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.