Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

I had forgotten how much light there is in the world,
by Ursula K. Le Guin

I had forgotten how much light there is in the world,
'til you gave it back to me.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

It is above all by the imagination
that we achieve perception and compassion and hope.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

It is good to have an end to journey towards;
but it is the journey that matters in the end.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The only thing that makes life possible
is permanent, intolerable uncertainty;
not knowing what comes next.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

To oppose something is to maintain it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made,like bread,
remade all the time, made new.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

To be oneself is a rare thing, and a great one.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

There are no right answers to wrong questions.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

There's a point... when you have to choose
whether to be like everybody else the rest of your life,
or to make a virtue of your peculiarities.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

It is the journey that matters, in the end
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool;
it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The creative adult is the child who has survived.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet

I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The soul would have no rainbow,
Had the eyes no tears.
- John Vance Cheney

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser

I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill

What work I have done I have done because it has been play.
If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
- Mark Twain

No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying
as to put the right man in the right place.
- Thomas Jefferson

I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln

We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

I tried to remember how to exhale.
I had to look away before it came back to me.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities
and the responsibility that we all had.
It wasn't the answer.
It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.
- John Lennon

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I have found that hollow,
which even I had relied on for solid.
- Henry David Thoreau

It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb

As for accomplishments,
I just did what I had to do as things came along.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.
- Thomas Jefferson

Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

If the tongue had not been framed for articulation,
man would still be a beast in the forest.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau

We thought that we had the answers,
it was the questions we had wrong.
- Bono

The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791

I have had dreams, and I have had nightmares.
I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.
- Jonas Salk

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.