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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Whither

If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Be gentle first with yourself -
if you wish to be gentle with others.
- Lama Yeshe

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson

It's all right for a woman to be, above all, human.
I am a woman first of all.
- Anais Nin

If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
- Proverb

It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau

We first make our habits, then our habits make us.
- John Dryden

The first step in the evolution of ethics
is a sense of solidarity with other human beings.
- Albert Schweitzer

Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead

In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

A little simplification would be
the first step toward rational living.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

A leader is not one who says, "Follow me."
A leader is one who says, "I'll go first."
- Neale Donald Walsch

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb

The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein

Life ... is like a parachute jump:
you have to get it right the first time.
- Margaret Mead

The second office in the government is honorable and easy;
the first is but a splendid misery.
- Thomas Jefferson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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