Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Warfare

What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau

All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu

The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I feel impelled to speak today in a language
that in a sense is new-one which I,
who have spent so much of my life in the military profession,
would have preferred never to use.
That new language is the language of atomic warfare.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I come from Ireland and I've seen the damage of religious warfare.
I am a believer. I don't wear the badge on the outside
but it is on the inside.
- Bono

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

The more laws and order are made prominent,
the more thieves and robbers there will be.
- Lao Tzu

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.
- John Galsworthy

The purpose of human life is to serve,
and to show compassion and the will to help others.
- Albert Schweitzer

The human spirit ranges across a truly amazing
diversity of experiences and emotions -
the highest peaks and the lowest valleys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung

In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle

As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau

NO ONE is really different;
each of us is actually a member of the human race.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

Human nature is potentially aggressive and destructive
and potentially orderly and constructive.
- Margaret Mead

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg

It's all right for a woman to be, above all, human.
I am a woman first of all.
- Anais Nin

Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy,
because human rights is the very soul of our sense of nationhood.
- Jimmy Carter

All that is valuable in human society
depends upon the opportunity for development
accorded the individual.
- Albert Einstein

Government is a contrivance
of human wisdom to provide for human wants.
People have the right to expect that these wants
will be provided for by this wisdom.
- Jimmy Carter

Few are the giants of the soul that actually feel
that the human race is their family circle.
- Freya Stark

A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences,
in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures -
and that is the basis of all human morality.
- John F. Kennedy

I adore the human experience
- Jewel

It's humbling to think that all animals,
including human beings,
are parasites of the plant world.
- Isaac Asimov

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

What we call human nature in actuality is human habit.
- Jewel

I am a plain ordinary magnificent creation of God,
just like every other plain ordinary
mountain, ocean, tree, animal, and human.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.
It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.
It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
- Winston Churchill

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake
is to be continually thrown out of the nest.
- Pema Chodron

I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes
the objects of his creation
and is but a reflection of human frailty.
- Albert Einstein

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

To err is human, to forgive divine.
- Alexander Pope

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- The Buddha

The first step in the evolution of ethics
is a sense of solidarity with other human beings.
- Albert Schweitzer


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.