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Funny Quotes about Undefined

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields PHOTO

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.