Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Uncreative

The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers,
but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions.
- Antony Jay

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu

Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper

There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller

Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

Education is not the filling of a pail,
but the lighting of a fire.
- William Butler Yeats

Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

Happiness is a state of mind.
- Anonymous

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers
of acting and reasoning as fear.
- Edmund Burke

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein

Free-Will is the key to the prison of the mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to be naive.
- Buckminster Fuller

The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman

No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein

Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you think.
- Benjamin Disraeli

I have sworn upon the altar of God,
eternal hostility against every form of tyranny
over the mind of man.
- Thomas Jefferson

The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it.
- Aristotle

I open my mind to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All wrong-doing arises because of mind.
If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?
- The Buddha

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade.
It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

You can do anything you put your mind to.
- Anonymous

I am the poet of my mind.
I am the painter of my heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

Dream with Powerful Vision:
I open my mind to Spirit,
and trust my intuition to deliver inspiring visions of my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln

The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.