Funny Quotes about Twilight

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

I've chosen my life - now I want to start living it.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

I tried to remember how to exhale.
I had to look away before it came back to me.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

It is your own life, certainly, to spend as you choose.
- Tanya, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Far better is it to dare mighty things,
to win glorious triumphs,
even though chequered by failure,
than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in the grey twilight
that knows not victory or defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt

It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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