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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Ton

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins

Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins

Sometimes it is better to lose
and do the right thing
than to win and do the wrong thing.
- Tony Blair

People are not lazy.
They simply have impotent goals -
that is, goals that do not inspire them.
- Tony Robbins

Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins

We can change our lives.
We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.
- Tony Robbins

Successful people ask better questions,
and as a result, they get better answers.
- Tony Robbins

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you've always gotten.
- Tony Robbins (quoting Mark Twain)

Whatever happens, take responsibility.
- Tony Robbins

It is not what we get.
But who we become, what we contribute...
that gives meaning to our lives.
- Tony Robbins

If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid;
if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.
- Tony Rothman

I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece.
I challenge you to join the ranks of those people
who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
- Tony Robbins

The path to success is to take massive, determined action.
- Tony Robbins

To succeed, you need to find
something to hold on to,
something to motivate you,
something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett

Stay committed to your decisions,
but stay flexible in your approach.
- Tony Robbins

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life doesn't step on your toes when you Dance Lightly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Watch your toes when you waltz with life, Dance Lightly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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