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Funny Quotes about Stupidity

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw

Stupid is as stupid does.
- the movie Forrest Gump (1994)

Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous

An instructed and intelligent people
are always more decent and orderly
than an ignorant and stupid one.
- Adam Smith

Love is being stupid together.
- Paul Valery

If you want to improve,
be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
- Epictetus

It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid;
if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.
- Tony Rothman

Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.