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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Store

Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss

Anger is an acid that can do more harm
to the vessel in which it is stored
than to anything on which it is poured.
- Mark Twain

I Watch Wondrous Cloud Animals Parade My Story.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest obstacle to a Joyful Life
is your "story" about your life.
Your story is filled with perceives needs and obligations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For everything observed or experienced,
each of us creates a "story" - not sometimes, but always.
A "story" is the fiction a person tells themselves
about what has happened or is happening.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis

The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I create a new and more loving story
to surround each event in my past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best comfort I could offer
was to just let her tell her story.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

Story is a sacred visualization,
a way of echoing experience.
- Terry Tempest Williams

I choose to create a joyful story in THIS moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade my story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade your story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sharpen your pencil as you create the story of your life.
Ask today as you consider the many choices in your view -
what is the highest and best use
of your talents, skills and abilities?
When you answer that,
seize the opportunity to sharpen those qualities
even more sharply by applying your focused effort.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My diary is a mirror telling the story of a dreamer who,
a long long time ago went through life the way one reads a book.
- Anais Nin

What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.