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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Stages

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is but one stage for the peasant and the actor.
- Henry David Thoreau

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive everyone for every "wrong"
that I believe they have ever inflicted upon me.
I forgive them for my own sake,
that I may release the venom -
the anger and resentment within myself -
and regain my joy and serenity.
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Dance Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Create Today As a Celebration of My Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb

Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein

The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Walk Today's March With Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

Today, I Roar My Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to paint life in bold colors.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today's problems can seldom be solved using yesterday's answers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

Today, I Will Wear Purple.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today Is More Joyful Than Yesterday,
And Tomorrow Will Be More Joyful Still.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Do What Is Important To Me, First.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to see in myself the face of god.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Allow Spirit To Carry All My Burdens.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that today is your day to dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Respect And Enforce The Boundaries I Have Set.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I have gratitude for ALL of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to choose a different path.
Enjoy the unknown way - one step at a time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

The timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness;
and knows that yesterday is but today's memory
and tomorrow is today's dream.
- Khalil Gibran


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.