Funny Quotes about Southern

There are a number of things wrong with Washington.
One of them is that everyone is too far from home.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver

When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving

Our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions
and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington

Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.
- George Washington Carver

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated,
it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
- Washington Irving

Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver

The greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington

Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver

No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver

When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way,
you will command the attention of the world.
- George Washington Carver

True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station,
through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.
- George Washington Carver

Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver

Success is to be measured not so much
by the position that one has reached in life
as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
- Booker T. Washington

Since new developments are
the products of a creative mind,
we must therefore stimulate and encourage
that type of mind in every way possible.
- George Washington Carver

Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness
of the woods before sunrise.
- George Washington Carver

There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough preparation -
veneer isn't worth anything.
- George Washington Carver

I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington

Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough.
Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower
or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets,
but I have found that when I silently commune with people
they give up their secrets also - if you love them enough.
- George Washington Carver

Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver

How far you go in life depends on you being
tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Southern

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