Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Soloing

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Death is no more than passing from one room into another.
But there's a difference for me, you know.
Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
- Helen Keller

If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

No house should ever be on a hill or on anything.
It should be of the hill. Belonging to it.
Hill and house should live together
each the happier for the other.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Real love is accepting other people the way they are
without trying to change them.
- don Miguel Ruiz

As we let our light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence actually liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

There are always two forces warring against each other within us.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship
of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.
- Robert Southey

All other things being equal,
the simplest explanation is the most likely.
- a statement of Occam's Razor

Where love reigns, there is no will to power;
and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
The one is but the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung

You cannot hate other people without hating yourself.
- Oprah Winfrey

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is a higher court than courts of justice
and that is the court of conscience.
It supersedes all other courts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We win justice quickest by rendering
justice to the other party.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn

What do we live for, if it is not
to make life less difficult for each other?
- George Eliot

Lovers embrace that which is between them
rather than each other.
- Khalil Gibran

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha


Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.