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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Skydiving

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Self-trust is the first secret of success.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A leader is not one who says, "Follow me."
A leader is one who says, "I'll go first."
- Neale Donald Walsch

Recognizing my blindness is the first step
toward regaining my sight.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

You have a row of dominoes set up;
you knock over the first one,
and what will happen to the last one
is that it will go over very quickly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg

Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb

Be gentle first with yourself.
- Lama Yeshe

Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter F. Drucker

If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
- Proverb

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson

Let him that would move the world first move himself.
- Socrates

Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

Put on your own oxygen mask first.
- Airline companies

Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.
- Epictetus

For the very first time the young are
seeing history being made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead

The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein

Today, I Do What Is Important To Me, First.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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