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Funny Quotes about Sizes

Eagles come in all shapes and sizes,
but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.
- E. F. Schumacher

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain

The size of your success is measured by
the strength of your desire;
the size of your dream;
and how you handle disappointment along the way.
- Robert Kiyosaki

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams

Today's acorns grow into the oak trees of thirty years hence.
But what acorns are we sowing today?
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of prejudice or hatred would grow into.
Imagine what an acorn-sized bit of pollution can become.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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