Funny Quotes about Shots

One of the greatest casualties
of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society...
shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Some people regard private enterprise
as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it
as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
- Winston Churchill

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You go against yourself when you
judge or blame yourself for anything
- don Miguel Ruiz

Guilt is about actions or behavior;
while shame is about the self.
- "Dr. Sanity"

Guilt says I've done something wrong;
... shame says there is something wrong with me.
Guilt says I've made a mistake;
... shame says I am a mistake.
Guilt says what did was not good;
... shame says I am no good.
- John Bradshaw

I Release Myself From All Guilt.
I forgive myself for judging me guilty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Negro needs the white man to free him from his fears.
The white man needs the Negro to free him from his guilt.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Be yourself. There is nothing more for you to do
than to be the best YOU that you can be -
with no imitation, no pretense, no guilt, no shame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I rest in the light of forgiveness.
I forgive myself and others for that
which is done (and better left undone)
and also that which is not done (and better if done).
I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt.
I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Drop guilt! - because to be guilty is to live in hell.
Not being guilty, you will have the freshness
of dewdrops in the early morning sun,
you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,
you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.
Once guilt disappears you will have
a totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.
You will have a dance to your feet
and your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.
- Osho

You are not your mind. You, a Spiritual BEing,
are neither your mind nor your body.
Mind and body are your tools - to use as you choose.
Sometimes your body appears to have a will of its own,
as when it twitches or pains.
Likewise, your mind often appears to have its own will.
That incessant chattering of regret, disappointment, guilt,
shame, foreboding, worry, and fear
is your Rattlesnake Mind striking off on its own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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