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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Ross

Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Faith:
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
...
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
- Patrick Overton - from his book of poems: The Leaning Tree, 1975
[Widely mis-attributed to Barbara J. Winter, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and others]

People are like stained glass windows,
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when darkness sets in their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself,
and know that everything in life has purpose.
There are no mistakes, no coincidences,
all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

Fame is the scentless sunflower, with gaudy crown of gold;
But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

There is no neutrality.
There is only greater or lesser
awareness of one's bias.
- Phyllis Rose

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm,
but willing to draw blood in its defense.
- Mark Overby

Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam

Like a Rose, I Thrive -
Blessed With Both My Thorns and My Blooms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Oh my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
- Robert Burns

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken

Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses.
- Walter Hagen

Truths and roses have thorns about them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Who can suffer while roses bloom
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

He who sows hurry reaps indigestion.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.
- Emily Dickinson

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

Know that life is most joyful when you
neither attempt to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

Patience is an ever present alternative
to the mind's endemic restlessness and impatience.
Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find
lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are
and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it.
This doesn't mean you can't hurry when you have to.
It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully,
moving fast because you have chosen to.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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