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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Rivals

Ambition is like love,
impatient both of delays and rivals.
- The Buddha

In the struggle for survival,
the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals
because they succeed in adapting
themselves best to their environment.
- Charles Darwin

Wisdom I know is social.
She seeks her fellows.
But Beauty is jealous,
and illy bears the presence of a rival.
- Thomas Jefferson

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep the company of those who seek the truth;
run from those who have found it.
- V�clav Havel

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

I am a Passionate Observer of Life.
I See the events, feel the emotions,
and recognize the difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

The power of imagination makes us infinite.
- John Muir

A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Life is a mirror, and will reflect back
to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary

Honor tradition AND question tradition.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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