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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Reviewing

Every day is a good day to make a resolution
for beginning a new way of living,
but the New Year's Day holiday provides a good focus
for reviewing our lives and resolving
to live each day with conscious attention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.