Funny Quotes about Reporter

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas

We ourselves feel that what we are doing
is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less
because of that missing drop.
- Mother Teresa

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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