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Funny Quotes about Progressive

Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A man is a method, a progressive arrangement; a selecting principle,
gathering his like to him; wherever he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)

I was taught that the way of progress
is neither swift nor easy.
- Marie Curie

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
- Henry Ford

The best road to progress is freedom's road.
- John F. Kennedy

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice
requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The natural progress of things is for liberty
to yield and government to gain ground.
- Thomas Jefferson

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

All progress is precarious, and the solution
of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

If virtue promises happiness, prosperity and peace,
then progress in virtue is progress in each of these
for to whatever point the perfection of anything brings us,
progress is always an approach toward it.
- Epictetus

Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I believe in intuition and inspiration.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited,
whereas imagination embraces the entire world,
stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.
It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.
- Albert Einstein

I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]

In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.