Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David
All progress is precarious, and the solution
of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once the sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship.
- Margaret Mead
Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.