Funny Quotes about Politics

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics
do not know what religion is.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill

Politics is a profession; a serious, complicated and,
in its true sense, a noble one.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill

Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;
but one must take it BECAUSE it is right.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Credulity - willingness to accept
unsupported statements without demanding proof -
is the greatest ally of the dictator and the demagogue.
- Arthur C. Clarke

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Although prepared for martyrdom,
I preferred that it be postponed.
- Winston Churchill

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman

God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir

Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Politics

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