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Funny Quotes about Patriotism

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Oscar Wilde

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Heroism on command, senseless violence,
and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -
how passionately I hate them!
- Albert Einstein

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill

The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.
- Anatole France

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

Virtue is persecuted more by the wicked
than it is loved by the good.
- The Buddha

Who sows virtue reaps honor.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is
the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill

A thankful heart is the greatest virtue.
- Cicero

There is a natural aristocracy among men.
The grounds of this are virtue and talents.
- Thomas Jefferson

Dependence begets subservience and venality,
suffocates the germ of virtue,
and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition.
- Thomas Jefferson

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue,
but the parent of all other virtues.
- Cicero

True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead

There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There's a point... when you have to choose
whether to be like everybody else the rest of your life,
or to make a virtue of your peculiarities.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
- Lao Tzu

Consider a parent who says,
"Look at the sacrifices I'm making so you can have a better life."
Contrast that with another parent who demonstrates
living a great life every day.
Self-sacrifice is not a virtue.
Living a great life and sharing that life with others
is the noble way to live.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To enjoy good health,
to bring true happiness to one's family,
to bring peace to all, one must first
discipline and control one's own mind.
If a man can control his mind
he can find the way to Enlightenment,
and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
- The Buddha

Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge
on their children rather than virtue,
the art of speaking well rather than doing well;
but their manners should be of the greatest concern.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

If virtue promises happiness, prosperity and peace,
then progress in virtue is progress in each of these
for to whatever point the perfection of anything brings us,
progress is always an approach toward it.
- Epictetus

Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth,
so virtue appears from good deeds,
and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind.
To walk safely through the maze of human life,
one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
- The Buddha

When virtue is lost, benevolence appears,
when benevolence is lost right conduct appears,
when right conduct is lost, expedience appears.
Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth;
it is the beginning of disorder.
- Lao Tzu

If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson

There is also something excellent in every audience,
the capacity of virtue.
They are ready to be beatified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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