Funny Quotes about Paranoid

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Attention is the ability we have to discriminate
and to focus only on that which we want to perceive.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

We only see what we want to see,
and hear what we want to hear
- don Miguel Ruiz

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Motivation is the art of getting people to do
what you want them to do because they want to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

Success is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

We have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging,
to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want.
- Joe Vitale

Fear of death makes us devoid both of valor and religion.
For want of valor is want of religious faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The key to happiness is not to have what you want
but to want what you have.
- Anonymous

Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you
to reach the heights of your capabilities
or make the money that you want
without becoming very good at it.
- Brian Tracy

I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Funny Quotes about Paranoid

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