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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quotes about Paper

I soothe my conscience now with the thought that
it is better for hard words to be on paper
than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
- Anne Frank

The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart

Completion:
It is time for the project to be over.
You submitted the proposal, you painted your house,
you passed-in the term paper.
Whatever praise or criticism you received,
it is now time to move on to your next project.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do you have a plan for your life?
If not, allocate some time today to sit quietly
with pen and paper to begin writing your life plan -
what you want to accomplish with your life,
and what projects will support your goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I put a piece of paper under my pillow,
and when I could not sleep I wrote in the dark.
- Henry David Thoreau

Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud

Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw

Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous

Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa

Don't join the book burners.
Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

No government ought to be without censors;
and where the press is free no one ever will.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who would ever think that so much went on
in the soul of a young girl?
- Anne Frank

There is nothing I ever need to have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus

We hardly ever realize that we can
cut anything out of our lives,
anytime, in the blink of an eye.
- Carlos Castaneda

Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Nothing is ever absolutely "wrong."
"Wrong" is in the cultural tradition of the beholder.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel

The world is incomprehensible.
We won't ever understand it;
we won't ever unravel its secrets.
Thus we must treat the world as it is:
a sheer mystery.
- Carlos Castaneda

I unconditionally forgive myself for everything
that I have ever done, said, or thought
that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The method of nature: who could ever analyze it?
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only those who can leave behind everything they
have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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