Funny Quotes about Opposite

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein

Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr

The opposite of courage in our society
is not cowardice, it is conformity.
- Rollo May

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
- Elie Wiesel

The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born -
that there is a genetic factor to leadership.
This myth asserts that people simply either
have certain charismatic qualities or not.
That's nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true.
Leaders are made rather than born.
- Warren G. Bennis

Self-respect is often mistaken for arrogance
when in reality it is the opposite.
When we can recognize all our good qualities
as well as or faults with neutrality,
we can start to appreciate ourselves
as we would a dear friend
and experience the comfortable inner glow of respect.
To embrace the journey towards our full potential
we need to become our own loving teacher and coach.
Spurring ourselves on to become better human beings,
we develop true regard for ourselves,
and our life will become sacred.
- Osho

Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience
it is necessary for us to do the opposite,
that is to commence with experience
and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.
- Leonardo da Vinci

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
When the loyal opposition dies,
I think the soul of America dies with it.
- Edward R. Murrow

Great spirits have always encountered
violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein

Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Funny Quotes

Follow my Humorous yet Insightful Quote of the Day by Email:

Funny Quotes about Opposite

Funny Quotes