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Funny Quotes about Nationality

Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)

I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln

Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen
who would protect the rights and privileges of free people
and who would preserve what is
good and fruitful in our national heritage.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

For me, one of the greatest things about living in the United States
is that we have a national holiday - Thanksgiving Day -
dedicated to honoring gratitude.
Having gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life.
Let every day be a day of profound thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

After all, science is essentially international,
and it is only through lack of the historical sense
that national qualities have been attributed to it.
- Marie Curie

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals

A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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